The prequel: I love chocolate cake. I mean… I LOVVVEEE chocolate cake. I saw a picture of an absolutely beautiful chocolate cake with a creamy topping and I just had to learn more. When I pulled up the recipe, I saw the topping was skyr, Icelandic yogurt, and I was completely intrigued. I typically don’t associate yogurt with cake topping so let’s see what the fuss is about!
Pre-adventure Jitters: See above…yogurt on cake. Not mixed with anything, not fancied up, whipped, dipped, or dazzled. Just a thwack of yogurt on top. Yogurt’s good for your tummy, though, sooo armed with my recipe from icelandicprovisions.com, and an insatiable craving for chocolate cake, the adventure begins.
The Adventure: So, to be completely upfront about this recipe, this is my third attempt. As mentioned before, I live in the sticks. Finding any skyr in the grocery store is a momentous occasion. Finding the required cold brewed coffee flavored skyr is about as likely as finding a unicorn grazing in my back yard. Being yogurt, mail order isn’t possible, sooo I need to drive 40 minutes south, which I did for the first time in early October of 2022. Annndd then my dad had his stroke. As anyone who’s ever had a sick family member knows, baking a cake was nowhere on my radar. The yogurt went bad before I could use it… and I don’t just mean the best before date passed. We’re talking, holy crap, I think I’m going to gag from the smell as it goes down the garbage disposal bad. Dad got back on firm footing the first week of January, so I trekked back down and bought the skyr a second time. Three weeks later my Dad was dead and the yogurt got pitched yet again. So, making this cake is a bit cathartic for me…a symbolic step forward in my life. I have bought my skyr for a third time, and this cake is being made!
Everything mixes up super easy. I’m most at home when I’m baking (versus cooking), so this recipe is a dream. It takes forever to get the finished batter smooth. I scrape the side of the bowl as I go…like usual…and take it off the stand to start pouring into the pan. It’s thick…pudding thick…so it takes some serious effort with a spatula to get it out to the corners. I get to the bottom of the bowl, only to realize there’s a fudgy mass. It’s such a heavy coating on the bottom that the spatula careened over the top with every “scraping of the sides”. That’s a bummer. With the majority already in the pan, there aren’t many options. It’s thick enough I can’t mix it without significant lumps. I make the decision on how to best make it go away. Mhm…I ate it! Now that everything was in the pan, I pop it in the oven.
You ever have this feeling that there’s something you’re forgetting? Yeah…I had that nag in the back of my mind that I missed doing “that thing” that’s never in a recipe, but you just know to do. I focus in on my next task as the cake is baking and try to ignore the nag. Mhm…it takes serious focus to clear all the bits of chocolate cake batter out of the bowl (with my spatula, of course). At the 20 minute mark, I take a peak into the oven and immediately see my oversight. I have MASSIVE air bubbles all over the top. These bad boys look like frog eyes. WIth all the mixing to get the batter smooth, I needed to give the cake a couple good thumps on the counter to jiggle the air out. Again suuuccch a bummer, but there’s not a single thing I can do. We’re too far along in the bake to do anything. The good news about air bubbles is they don’t affect the flavor, so it’s all good.
The cake comes out of the oven fine. I let it cool and cover it up. Normally, I dig in right away, but I’m taking this adventure to my cousin’s house for lunch tomorrow. She has no idea her family is about to be the guinea pigs for this experiment.
Guess what! The dessert gets the thumbs up from ALL 5 tasters!! From under 10 to over 50, we all think it’s delicious! Now HOW we ate it differed. This recipe was a cheater version, with yogurt on the top instead of frosting, so we each got to choose how we wanted it. Some people chose plain, some chose vanilla bean yogurt, and some (like myself) chose cold brew yogurt. All of us agreed it was super rich and delicious. This is a win. On to the next adventure!
The Recipe – Skuffukaka
Ingredients:
For the cake:
1-1/2 cups sugar
1-1/2 sticks butter, room temp
2 eggs
2 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2- 4.4 ounce Extra Creamy Vanilla Bean Skyr Containers
3/4 cup water
For the frosting:
4 – 4.4 ounce Extra Creamy Cold Brew Skyr
Unsweetened Coconut Flakes
Recipe
Preheat the oven to 375F and lightly grease a 13×9 inch pan.
Cream sugar and butter in a stand mixer until light and airy, about 5 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time mixing well in between.
In a separate bowl whisk the dry ingredients together then add to the butter mixture. Mix until just incorporated.
Add skyr and water to the batter and mix until incorporated and smooth.
Bake for 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted to the middle comes out clean.
When the cake has cooled completely, swirl Extra Creamy Coffee Skyr on top and sprinkle with shredded coconut.
The adventure: Have I mentioned that I have an addiction to international cookbooks? Yeah, we’re talking about a seeriously massive cookbook addiction. One of my favorites is also one that I haven’t used very often. I leaf through the pages…repeatedly…but I rarely put action to my noodle drooling. But today is the day. I need an easy recipe and truly love anything with a noodle. So I’m making Pho Tom for dinner!
Pre-adventure Jitters: One word…mushrooms. I think I’ve mentioned before my distaste for mushrooms. Mushrooms are front and center in this dish, so I’m not quite sure if it’s going to be yummy or gag producing. But I’m trying to push myself in this endeavor and that includes mushrooms. Soooo…armed with the recipe from “Noodles” by Sarah Ainley, and a predisposition for gagging, the adventure begins.
The Adventure: Are you ready for this? All I need are the mushrooms. Everything else is already in my fridge, freezer, or pantry. My entire shopping list is completed with the count to 8 and a grand total of 5 minutes. Woo hoo!
Prep is a dream. I feel guilty about using this recipe for my blog, quite frankly, cause there are no issues, no dramas, traumas, or accidents. The recipe says to quarter the mushrooms. Yeah, soooo that’s not going to happen. That’s a big ol’ bite of mushroom. So, rather than quartering them, I do something more like thirty-seconding them. Little tiny bites are just fine by me.
I boil my noodle water in a large measuring cup and stuff in my noodles to soak. Start the mushroom broth cooking, and cut up my cucumber. The broth comes up to a boil, so I toss in my frozen shrimp and start the clock. Two minutes and dinner is ready. As my shrimp are cooking, I place my noodles in the bottom of my bowl, stack on the cucumber and then pour the broth and shrimp over the top. It’s all sooooo easy it’s almost shameful.
The moment of truth. I grab the first chopsticks full of noodle, cucumber, shrimp and a little tiny bit of mushroom. It’s fantastic! You have the earthy broth from the mushrooms, the salt from the seafood, and a freshness from the cucumber that makes this one of my favorite meals yet. It was quick, incredibly easy, and absolutely delicious. It’s a win. On to the next adventure!
The Recipe – Pho Tom
Ingredients
3-1/2 cups vegetable stock (or chicken)
8 button mushrooms, quartered
2 TBSP fish sauce
1 tsp sugar
6 ounces mung bean vermicelli noodles
1/2 pound raw medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 small cucumbers, peeled and cut into thin sticks
Instructions:
Pour the stock into a pan, add the mushrooms, fish sauce, and sugar, and set aside
Soak the noodles for 5 minutes in water that has been boiled and cooled slightly, then drain and divide among 4 serving bowls. Meanwhile, bring the stock and mushroom.
Place the cucumber over the noodles, pour the hot stock, mushroom, and shrimp broth over, and serve.
The prequel: It’s been a while. Like…almost two years a while. My life took a turn, shall we say. My mom died, then my dad got sick / died, then my dog died, then I closed my brick and mortar store. Mhm…as I said, my life took a turn. But the important thing, when your life takes a turn, is to nurture yourself, take care of what needs taken care of, and to heck with the rest. Seriously. So here I am…stronger, more focused, doing what I love…and finally sticking my toe back into my kitchen adventures. It was only fitting that my first adventure back is today…Fat Tuesday. My mom always made donuts on Fat Tuesday. When she was no longer able, I picked up the fatty bit of goodness torch (documented in my very first kitchen adventure). It seems every European country has their own delightful treat this time of year to celebrate, so having made fastnachts a couple times, I’ve decided to travel to another land and attempt to create the mighty Danish Carnival Buns.
Pre-adventure Jitters: The recipe mentions filling explosions, so I’m questioning if I should be wearing an apron or a hazmat suit. I’m not typically even an apron kind of cook, but with the advanced warning, we’re taking precautions. Armed with my recipe from skandibaking.com, and the aforementioned apron, the adventure begins.
The Adventure: The shopping list is non existent. The origination of these pastries at the start of Lent stems from the need to use up what was in the larder. It’s not meant to be creative and use freaky bits and pieces. They’re old school. So, I have everything. Suhweet!
I start first thing in the morning making my custard…what they call kagecreme. Throw the ingredients in the base of a tall sided bowl…”whisk vigorously”. Right. It’s 7 am. I’m not whisking vigorously. I’m barely measuring with any accuracy. I grab the immersion blender, throw on the whisk attachment and give it my all. The fast moving wires hit the cornstarch and a puff cloud of immense proportions comes shooting out of the bowl. It’s everywhere. Legit everywhere…on the blender, the counter, my clothes, up my nostrils…everywhere. What a rookie mistake! I’m already committed though, so I adjust the angle of the blender and continue on. Get the egg mixture well blended, and turn back to the pan of milk. I started heating it before I began whisking and turned my back. You know what they say about turning your back, right? I catch it right before it boils over the top of the pan. Seeeeriously. There’s a reason I don’t do these recipes in the morning. I’m a hot mess before 10. Pour a little milk in the eggs (while whisking), pour the mixture back in the pan (whisk, whisk, whisk), boil up and shazam! It did exactly what it was supposed to! I HAVE DANISH CUSTARD! Gotta say, I’m tempted to call it done and enjoy the custard on its own, buuuttt that’s not the deal. I stuff it in the fridge to cool and start the dough.
Two words…dough setting. Yup. I dumped it all in my bread machine and let ‘er rip. If you’ve never used your dough setting, I’d highly recommend it. It makes all sorts of bread making a breeze. Dump, walk away, come back in 90 minutes and you’re ready to go. The beeper goes off, I dump out the dough and divide into 12 pieces with my pizza cutter. It’s time to make some buns! First piece goes into my hand and I try to roll it into a ball. Not balling. No where’s close to looking like a nice round piece of dough. Dammit. I cover them up to raise and walk away. Maybe they’ll fix during the raising process. Twenty minutes later I come back. Nope. Didn’t fix themselves.
I grab the first one and flatten it out into a circle. I slap on a little creme and before I can get the edges pinched up it shrinks in size. This stuff is elastic! I use my finger to squish the creme back to the center and stretch it back out to start pinching. The pinch isn’t working. There’s no stick going on. The dough is elastic AND belligerent. I aggressively pinch and squish like my life depends on it and finally get my little bun together. It’s lookin’ rough. I mean…really rough, but it is what it is. I move on to the next bun, hoping the first was a fluke annnddd it wasn’t. Every one of those 12 buns is a mess. I cover them up to raise and walk away, knowing this raise also won’t fix anything. Thirty minutes later I return, egg wash the top, and flop my sad looking little buns into the oven. The buzzer goes off and I’m almost afraid to look. Did they explode in the oven? Do they still look all cattywampus? I peek into the oven and THEY’RE GORGEOUS!
I make my frosting (with a double up on the cocoa powder, since there’s no such thing as too much chocolate) and slather it on once they’ve cooled. The biggest puffiest of the buns is calling my name. I grab it, take a bite, and… Ooooooohhhh. These are amazing. The sweet creme in the center is perfect with the cardamom bun. I can’t help myself and grab a second. It IS Fat Tuesday after all. This adventure was a beast, but I’m so glad I powered through. I may just have to declare myself Danish for next year as well! On to the next adventure!
The Recipe – Fastelavnsboller
Ingredients:
Dough
150 ml (2/3 cup) milk
2 tsp instant yeast
1 large egg
1 egg yolk
50 grams (1/4 cup) sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp cardamom
1/2 tsp salt
375 grams (3 cups) all-purpose or bread flour
57 grams (4Tbsp) unsalted butter, softened
Filling and Decoration
1/2 portion kagecreme (see below)
1 egg for egg wash
powdered sugar
cocoa powder
water
Instructions:
Make kagecreme and put in fridge. It needs to be cool, so give it a couple hours.
Add the instant yeast to the milk in a small bowl and set aside.
Combine the egg, egg yolk, sugar, vanilla, cardamom, and salt in a large bowl. Add the yeast and milk mixture and mix well
Slowly add the flour and the softened butter, stirring with a wooden spoon. Once the dough starts to come together, you can start kneading.
Kneed until smooth and elastic, probably around 10-15 minutes. Add a bit of flour if the dough sticks to your hands or the surface. The texture of your dough before its first rise should be soft and smooth, not sticky and not too dry.
Cover and let your dough rise for about 45 minutes, or until doubled in size.
Once the dough has risen, dump it out on a flat surface. Divide into 12 equal pieces, and shape into buns. (Take a piece, pinch together into a ball shape, then cup it in your hand with the top of the roll touching your palm. Place your hand on an unfloured surface with the seam touching the table. Move your cupped hand in quick, tight circles – this will cause the seam to come together and create tension on the surface of the dough.)
Let the buns rest for about 20 minutes on the table, covered with plastic wrap or a damp dishtowel. I also like to spray or brush the tops of the dough with a bit of vegetable oil, just to make sure they don’t form any skin or dry spots.
Fill the buns with kagecreme. Take a bun, place it on your table dome side down (seam side up), and flatten it, just by hitting it with the heel or palm of your hand. You may need to pick up the circle of dough and use your hands to enlarge the circle a bit. Either pipe or spoon a dollop of filling (only a few teaspoons or the buns will explode) into the center of the dough circle. Pull up the sides and pinch them together. You do not need to do anything else to shape the buns at this point! This will only create weak spots where the filling can run out during baking. Place your filled bun on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
Let the filled buns rise another 30 minutes. In the meantime, preheat your oven to 350 F.
Once your buns are roughly doubled in size, egg wash the buns. Then bake them in the preheated oven for 12-14 minutes, or until golden brown and hollow sounding.
Let the buns cool on a wire rack. Once cool, prepare your decoration. Mix together about a cup of powdered sugar, a TBSP of cocoa powder (to start) and a tiny bit of water. Keep adding water, or sugar, or cocoa powder until the icing reaches the consistency and taste that you like.
Spoon the icing onto each bun, letting it drip down the sides. Let the icing harden a bit and enjoy!
Kagecreme ingredients:
3 large egg yolks
50 grams sugar
pinch of salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
25 grams cornstarch
400 ml whole milk
28 grams unsalted butter
Instructions:
Combine the egg yolks, sugar, salt, vanilla, and cornstarch in a large heat-proof bowl. Whisk vigorously until smooth.
Heat the milk in a saucepan on medium heat. You may need to stir or whisk occasionally to prevent any of the milk solids from sticking to the bottom of the pan. Once the milk starts to very lightly simmer, with small bubbles forming around the edges, remove it from the heat. Pour half the milk into the egg mixture, while whisking vigorously to prevent the eggs from clumping together. It helps to put a towel underneath the bowl to help prevent it from sliding around.
Pour the egg and milk mixture back into the saucepan with the rest of the milk and whisk. (It’s easiest to do this off the heat.)
Place the saucepan back on medium heat and continue to whisk. Once the mixture is heated through, it should start to thicken. (note: for the starches to thicken, it needs to get up to near boiling point) Whisk for about 30 seconds after bubbles start to break the surface to ensure the starch has fully thickened the mixture. Remove from heat and add the butter, whisking until it melts into the mixture.
Transfer to a bowl and cover with plastic wrap, making sure that the plastic wrap touches the surface of the cream to avoid a skin forming. Refrigerate for 1-2 hours or until cooled. Then you can use the pastry cream to fill pastries, use in cakes, or for whatever you like.
This week’s adventure: I’m totally stoked. I’ve always wanted to make bagels, so this is my chance to cross off a location on my kitchen adventure bucket list.
Pre-adventure jitters: Boiling. Seriously. The “secret” to a great bagel is the boil. I cannot envision boiling bread. Quite frankly, it goes against the laws of nature. Buuuuttt, if bagels need to be boiled, boil I shall. Armed with my recipe from Love and Lemons, the adventure begins.
The Adventure: The best part about making bagels is that I already have EVERYTHING in my kitchen! I’m good to go without any trip to the store. No Where’s Waldo, no multiple stops, just focusing on having some fun. Truth be told, it feels a bit like I’m cheating. Not enough to guilt me into trying something else, though. I LOVE a good bagel, so my tummy is already looking forward to the results of this adventure.
I get to use my dough hook! In the 30+ years of living on my own, I have NEVER used my dough hook. I toss in the ingredients, give it the obligatory 3 min mix, add a little water per the recipe, and it all comes together easy peasy. The knead is what a knead is…slow and annoying, buuttt I get it done and move on the the shaping. It says to roll it around on the board to form a ball. It doesn’t form…I get no friction. It slips around under my hand and won’t roll so much as a millimeter. I’ve never had anything like this happen before! I’ve formed all sorts of stuff on my board. I roll dough quite a bit, and this just defies logic. I decide to sprinkle a little water on the board and it gives me just enough stick to get a ball. I roll and stretch to get my tube of dough, wet the ends, wrap around my hand. Flip to roll the ends together annddd it gets all floppy. (sigh) Oh, for Pete’s sake. This is waayyy harder than it sounded. Perfection goes out the window and I aim towards ‘not awful’ with my rings. I finally get the last bagel rolled and look at my pan of sadness. My bagels are deformed and irregular, but dough does all kinds of fun stuff as it raises, so I don’t give up hope. The pans go in the fridge over night.
First thing in the morning, I pull them out and let them warm up. Get my water ready, bring it to a boil, and try the float. Seriously. It’s so bizarre that you “float” bread to make sure it’s ready to cook. And it floats! It looks like a little doughy sailboat. They’re ready to boil! I drop the first three in, flip after a minute, pull them out and move on to the next set. Slather on the egg wash and move on to the toppings. Annndd then I realize my mistake. My raisins needed to be rolled into the dough. I’ll pile some on top, but I’m not hopeful. That was a big oversight. I put shredded cheddar cheese on top of three…chopped chives on three…the loose raisins on the last two. They go in the oven and I hope for the best. I keep a sharp eye, cause there’s a fine line between golden brown and charred…or what I’ve come to call cajun, since blackened is cool in cajun cuisine. It’s all perspective, right?
I look in and find them a beautiful toasted color and pull out the pan. As I suspected, the raisins look like little turds on the top of the bagels. I’ll be flickin’ them off first thing. The chives are also a fail. Even though I used the egg wash to hold them in place, they flake right off. The cheese? It’s perfection! Chewy outside, bready inside, the bagel of my dreams. I’ve learned my lessons on this one. I know what to do differently next time. Mhm…this is gonna be a regular thing now that I know what I’m doing. One recipe off the bucket list and a fab breakfast option. On to the next adventure!
The Follow Up Adventure: Alrighty…so those little raisin turds really bothered me. I’ve come back around to the bagels and found the solution. Found the barley malt syrup at the Bent n Dent, which was shocking since they don’t carry it at my grocery stores. Cleared off the shelf. Mhm…I’m officially one of “those” people now. Truth be told, I didn’t notice much difference between that and the maple syrup, so I don’t know as it’s worth the ingredient search.
I followed the directions the same as the first go round, but at the moment I started rolling out the dough ball into a rope, I pulled it apart a bit, tucked my toppings in, then continue making the dough rope. It worked beautifully. My add-ons of choice on the second adventure were mini chocolate chips, raisins with cinnamon, green onion with swiss cheese, and chives with cheddar. Everything but the chives was fantastic! I think chives just don’t have a strong enough flavor. Note made on my recipe for the next time…cause now that I have this down, it’s gonna be a thing. 🙂
The Recipe – Bagels
Ingredients:
For the dough
1 tablespoon maple syrup or barley malt syrup
1 pkg. (¼-ounce) active dry yeast, (2¼ teaspoons)
1¼ cups warm water
540 grams bread flour
2 teaspoons sea salt
For the poaching water
1½ tablespoons maple syrup
2 teaspoons baking soda
½ tablespoon salt
For the toppings
1 egg white plus 1 tablespoon water, optional
Directions:
Prepare the dough: In a small bowl, combine the maple syrup, yeast, and water, and proof for 5 minutes or until foamy.
In the bowl of a mixer fitted with a dough hook attachment, place the flour, salt, and the yeast mixture. Mix on medium-low speed for 5 to 7 minutes, until the dough is well-formed around the hook. If the dough is very dry after 3 minutes, add 1 tablespoon water. (Note: I don’t recommend mixing this dough without a stand mixer, it’s a stiff dough that gets nice and smooth this way).
Transfer the dough to a clean work surface and knead 2 to 3 minutes, until smooth and barely tacky, then form into a ball and place into a large bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and set aside in a warm spot for 60 to 90 minutes, until the dough has risen (it may double in size or slightly less).
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper, grease them very lightly with oil, and set aside. Turn the dough out onto a clean, unfloured, work surface and divide into 8 pieces. Form each piece into a ball by rolling on the countertop with a cupped hand. As you work with each piece through the next few steps, keep the dough that you’re not working with covered in plastic wrap.
Sprinkle a few drops of water onto the countertop. Take each dough ball and roll into a rope about 9 inches long. Place one hand palm up so that your four fingers are centered on top of the rope. Fold each side of the dough over your fingers, so that the ends overlap by about 2 inches. (see photo above). Holding the dough, turn your hand over and roll your hand on the countertop to seal the two ends together.
Place each finished piece onto a baking sheet. Dust the tops with a very slight amount of flour to keep the plastic wrap from sticking to the dough. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.
The next morning, remove the pans from the fridge and let sit at room temp for 1 hour.
Preheat the oven to 450°F.
Place one bagel into a small bowl of water to make sure it floats. If it sinks, let the dough proof for an additional 30 minutes or until one floats.
Prepare the poaching water: In a large pot, bring two quarts of water to a boil with the maple syrup, baking soda, and salt.
Add 3 bagels (or as many that comfortably fit) to the pot, reducing the heat if the water starts to boil over. Boil for 1 minute per side. Transfer the bagels back to the baking sheet, flipping them over so the smooth side is on top. Repeat with remaining bagels.
Prepare the toppings: Beat the egg white and water together in a small bowl, if desired. Brush the bagels with the egg wash and sprinkle with the seasoning. Alternatively, you can skip the egg wash and dip the top of the bagel straight into the seasoning, but the egg wash helps the seasoning adhere better to the bagel.
Bake for 14 to 18 minutes or until lightly golden brown.
The adventure: I love Spanish cuisine. I mean I love ALL Hispanic cuisine, but I have a soft place in my heart for food from Spain. I spent a semester in Spain during college, and found everything I ate there delightful. When I came across an artichoke rice cake with Manchego recipe, I just had to try it. I love cheese. Artichoke dip is the bomb and rice is just fun. How could this go wrong?
Pre-adventure Jitters: My idea of preparing an artichoke heart involves a can opener. I’ve never bought an artichoke, cut an artichoke, or prepared an artichoke in any way. I find them daunting. I was tempted to do the same with this recipe rather than prepping my artichoke from scratch, but I call them adventures for a reason. Soooo…armed with the recipe from “Around the World in 450 Recipes” by Sarah Ainley, and my cell phone in case I need a quick tutorial, the adventure begins.
The Adventure: The good news about doing so many of these recipes, is my basic ingredient stash is growing to a rather healthy size. All I need is parmesan, manchego, and the artichoke. Well, those and the risotto rice. Risotto is a short chubby rice. I already have a short chubby rice that I bought for one of the Latin recipes and I’m not buying another bag. Sooo I’m subbing my chubby rice and I’ll speak some Italian to it to make it feel like risotto. And before you’re impressed that I speak Italian, I don’t. I know maybe 2 words aside from cheeses and pastas, but it’s the thought that counts, right? The cheese I can get from The Cheese House, and the artichoke from the standard grocery store. Easy peasy this go round. I feel like I earned this little ingredient break.
I’m a becoming a “get the easy items out of the way first” kind of chef. Chop my onions, measure out the other ingredients, and then I stare down the artichoke. Sigh. What was I thinking. I should have just faked it. I read the recipe directions…”cut off the stem, the top, the leaves, cut out the choke”. I remove the stem, the top, most of the leaves…but I have no idea what a choke is.
Before I go any further, I look up a tutorial to watch. Annndddd the stem shouldn’t have been cut off. It needs peeled down, but the center is considered part of the heart. Well, shit. I dig the stem out of my produce waste…cause we’re applying a 500 second rule…and peel the stem. The tutorial helps trim it further down and so I can identify the choke. It says to use a melon baller to scoop out the choke. I don’t have a melon baller. I try a spoon, and it’s a total disaster. Soooo I clutch my paring knife at the blade end (mhm…that’s how you lose a digit) and scrape…and scrape…and scrape. By the time I get all the fuzz remnants off the heart, there’s very little heart left. Sigh. This is turning out to be a nightmare. It’s too late to go back now, so I forge ahead.
I sauté, boil as required, and slowly stir my rice…for 20 minutes. If you know anything about me, you’ll be impressed and in awe that I actually stirred constantly for 20 minutes. That crap never happens. I’m typically a “walk away and come back to it burned” kinda gal. So I truly get the gold star on this one. I add the parm and taste. Oh. My. God. The rice is delicious. I don’t even need to go any further. I could just sit down, hug the bowl, and demolish it completely. I eat another spoonful and another, then quickly put it in the fridge before I lose all control.
Once my rice is suitably chilled (the next evening, truth be told), I scoop out my first spoonful. Flatten, stuff in cheese, and try to shape back to a circle. Annnddd it doesn’t work. The rice isn’t sticking back together. Sigh. I apply the half ass cook law #549, squish the bejeebers out of it hoping it works…and it does! The heat from my hand warms the rice up just enough that it sticks. They’re a piece of cake once I get the hang of it. I form just 6 to start. They need eaten right away, and I can’t see myself eating more than 6 in one sitting. The remaining rice I stick back in the fridge.
The dusting of cornmeal is issue free and I heat up my oil. I’m supposed to fry for 4-5 minutes. It doesn’t mention a flip, soooo is that 4 to 5 per side? Total? Oy. I have no choice but to wing it. It takes about 3-1/2 to get the first side brown, I flip and fry side #2. Everything goes smoothly, except for the very first one I had issues forming. It’s a little crumbly. I pull them out of the pan and drain as required. They smell and look fantastic. I’m super excited as I plate them.
I pick up my plate and quickly turn to the right to grab my silverware annnddd one of them skids across the plate and hits the floor, exploding little rice grains everywhere. In my horror, I gasp, jerking the plate in the process, and A SECOND ONE goes flying. Their crispy fry makes them like little hockey pucks! As Cleo, my pup, devours the rice bits from the first one, I manage to grab the second one (still mostly intact) off the floor and pop it in my mouth. Mhm…I have no shame.
The rice cakes are delicious! I would definitely make this recipe again, but I’ve made a note in my book that they fly off the plate…literally. I mark this one as a huge win. On to the next adventure!
The Recipe – Artichoke Rice Cakes with Melting Manchego
Ingredients
1 globe artichoke
1/4 cup butter
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
2/3 cup risotto rice
scant 2 cups hot chicken stock
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
5 oz Manchego cheese, very finely diced
3-4 TBSP fine cornmeal
olive oil for frying
salt and freshly ground black pepper
flat leaf parsley, to garnish
Instructions
Remove the stalk, leaves, and choke to leave just the heart of the artichoke. Chop the heart finely.
Melt the butter in a saucepan and gently fry the chopped artichoke heart, onion, and garlic for 5 minutes until softened. Stir in the rice and cook for about 1 minute.
Keeping the heat fairly high, gradually add the stock, stirring constantly until all the liquid has been absorbed and the rice is cooked. This should take about 20 minutes. Season well, then stir in the Parmesan. Transfer to a bowl. Leave to cool, then cover and chill for at least 2 hours.
Spoon about 1 TBSP of the mixture in to the palm of one hand, flatten slightly, and place a few pieces of diced cheese in the center. Shape the rice around the cheese to make a small ball. Flatten slightly then roll in the cornmeal, shaking off any excess. Repeat with the remaining,= mixture to make about 12 cakes.
Shallow fry in hot olive oil for 4-5 minutes until the rice cakes are crisp and golden brown. Drain on kitchen paper and serve hot, garnished with flat leaf parsley.
The adventure: So I have this tradition. Every Christmas, I ask my customers what they’re having for dinner. I always find it fascinating. You see, while Thanksgiving Dinner is pretty well established, at least the major dishes, Christmas varies. Every year, the meal changes for quite a few people. And in case you were wondering, Christmas 2021 was the year of the beef brisket. Anyway, in the midst of one of these conversations, my customer made a comment. She longed for the fruit cake of her grandma. I KNOW I got a funny look on my face, because…um…I know of NOBODY who craves fruit cake. Christmas fruit cake is butt of many a joke nationwide. She saw it, started laughing, and said, “Oh no…it’s not an American style fruitcake, that’s really gross.” Turns out, her grandma lived in India and the way they do fruit cake there is TOTALLY different than ours. It involved rum…lots and lots of rum. So, needless to say, I was ALL IN. With her by my side, we googled, read, googled more, read more, until we found a recipe that was just like her grandma’s. Soooo since it was way too late to start my fruit soak in time for Christmas, I slated the fruit cake for Easter Sunday.
Pre-adventure Jitters: Fruit cake. That’s pretty much all I need to say, right? I mean, if this recipe is American style, it’s gonna be a WHOLE lot of effort for a cake that’s reminiscent of a brick and hits my stomach like lead. Armed with my recipe from Pepper Delight, and a ton of questioning of my sanity, the adventure begins.
The Adventure: I read up on this recipe…at length. Turns out, there’s no right or wrong with the fruit, nut, or even booze choices within the parameters. So I made the decision to go with what I had in my cupboard. Two years ago, mid pandemic, the last shipment of dried fruits at the shop ended up expiring. I didn’t have the heart to pitch them sooooo they went home got shoved in the back of my cupboard. So I’m just about set! I have sultanas, dried cherries, apricots, and cranberries, which is a fabulous assortment. I’m not fond of dates, so I decided to buy prunes instead (being a ‘plum’ cake and all). I have cashews and pistachio nuts in my cupboard AND a TON of dark rum. Seriously. I bought the big bottle on sale for a recipe last Spring and it’s still almost full, so dark rum it is!! This is unheard of. I have one thing on my shopping list. Just one. So I hit the store, buy my prunes and I’m good to go!!
I need a solid 30 days of booze soaking, because that’s what grandma did, so I started the prep mid March. Cut up my nuts, my fruits, shoved them in a canning jar and filled just enough rum to cover. I mean, I’m not trying to be stingy, but why pour in what you don’t need, right? Wake up on day two and the fruit has puffed up to double it’s original size!!! I chugalug more rum to cover my fruit yet again and set it back on the counter. Day three, I give it a shake…and again on day five, day 7, day 9. Mhm, you get the point. I’ve been shaking and watching my boozy bits for a solid 30 days.
Easter morning, I’m up at dawn. I have a fruit cake to make! I’m thinking I’ll get it done early and have the rest of the morning to do odds and ends annnnddd then I read through the recipe. Oy…it’s gonna be a bitch. What was I thinking?!? I start with the caramel syrup. It looks super easy, so no sweat, right? I’m curious why it says to “carefully add the rest of the water a tablespoon at a time.” Carefully? What the heck? Like it’s gonna explode or something? I almost dump the water in and at the last minute, decide to follow the directions. HOOOLLLLYYY CRAP!!! It does! It explodes like a volcano!!!! Every tablespoon of water added has a mini eruption. It’s crazy!
I set the caramel syrup to the side, as instructed, and move on to the cake. I open my drawer of springform pans to find just the right one. Yup…I have a collection of springforms. I’m a big cheesecake maker, so I’ve never met a springform I didn’t like, and you never know if you’ll need a 10″ or a 12 or an 8. For this recipe, I needed my 9″. I pull it out and then see the sentence that makes me hang my head in sadness. I have to line the pan with parchment paper. I really hate that kind of stuff. I mean, really. You shouldn’t need a pencil and scissors to bake a cake. But I’ve been soaking my boozy bits for weeks now, so there’s no turning back. I cut out the bottom circle, the strips for the side, grab the stick of butter with my bare hands and use it like a crayon. Messy, yes, but oh so much quicker.
The cake itself mixes up beautifully. I mean, yeah, it took some time, what with the soft peaking of the egg whites, the zesting of the orange, and all that. But it was uneventful…which is about all I hope for with recipes like these. I fold in my floured boozy bits, pour it into my springform, and put it in the oven. It goes in at 11 soooo it’s not going to be ready for lunch, but it’ll be ready for my dinner!
The cake takes a solid 75 minutes to bake…another 2 hours to cool…so I FINALLY grab the powdered sugar and give the top a little dusting. I cut a wedge and take the first bite. It’s fantastic!! The cake is light and airy. The boozy fruit gives it a twang that you just can’t describe. It was so good, I cut a second piece. I need to try it with the option of drizzling the remaining rum over top, right? I mean, I haven’t completed the adventure if I don’t, right? I’m totally stoked that this adventure was a massive win. On to the next!!
The Recipe – Kerala Plum Cake
Ingredients
For soaked dry fruits
½ cup raisins
½ cup dried cranberries
6-8 apricots
5 dates (seedless)
½ cup cashews
½ cup almonds
1 cup rum (or more)
For caramel syrup
1 cup sugar
½ cup water
For cake
2 cup flour + 2tbsp
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
2 sticks of unsalted butter (1 cup) (softened at room temperature)
1½ cup powdered sugar
4 eggs (at room temperature)
zest of one orange
2 tsp vanilla extract
½ tsp cinnamon powder
½ tsp dry ginger powder
¼ tsp nutmeg
2 tbsp rum (from the soaked dry fruits)
Instructions
Preparation of fruits
Chop dry fruits n nuts into bite size pieces, and transfer to a dry glass container. Pour the rum into the container and ensure that the contents are completely immersed in it. Place its lid and keep the container tightly closed.
Soak the fruits for at least 2 days, you can even preserve them up to 6 months; I soaked mine for 4 weeks. Shake the jar every alternative day and keep refilling it with extra rum as the fruits start absorbing it.
You can use 2 to 2 ½ cups of soaked fruits and nuts while baking a cake.
For soaking instructions and other tips, refer the notes section below.
Preparation of caramel syrup
Add the sugar and 1 tbsp water into a pan and heat on a medium flame.
As the sugar melts, turns golden in color, and bubbles, lower the flame and give it a quick stir. When the color changes to dark brown, switch off the flame and take the pan off the heat.
Now carefully add the rest of the water a tablespoon at a time and stir. Your dark colored caramel syrup is ready. Keep it aside to cool down, stir in between.
Preparation of cake
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Line a 9 inch nonstick springform pan with parchment paper; on the bottom and and along the sides extending 2 inches above the rim of the pan. Butter the paper thoroughly and set aside.
Drain the rum soaked fruits and keep the liquid aside for later use. To the drained fruits, add 2 tbsp flour and mix to coat the fruits; this helps preventing them from sinking to the bottom of the cake while baking. Keep aside.
Separate egg whites and yolks. Beat the egg whites until soft peaks form, set aside.
Prepare the dry ingredients by sifting flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl. Keep aside.
In a large bowl, using a hand mixer or a stand mixer, beat butter and powdered sugar until smooth and creamy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed, this helps to mix it evenly.
Add egg yolks followed by grated orange zest, vanilla extract, cinnamon powder, nutmeg and dry ginger powder. Beat well.
Add the cooled caramel syrup, dry ingredients, and the beaten egg whites in two batches, beat lightly until well combined.
Now add the flour coated dry fruits into the batter along with 2tbsp of the drained rum. Do not beat, instead fold in all the ingredients thoroughly with a spatula. The batter is ready, it will have a slightly thick consistency.
Pour the batter carefully into the prepared baking pan and bake for 55-65 minutes, until a skewer inserted in the center comes out clean. Allow the cake to cool for 10-15 minutes.
Gently run a knife around the edges of the pan and then unlock it. Move the cake to a wire rack keeping the lined parchment paper intact and let it cool completely. Dust with powdered sugar (optional).
Once cooled you can remove the paper, and the cake is now ready to be served.
To store, you can wrap the cake in an aluminum foil and keep in an air tight container at room temperature for a week. Refrigerate thereafter.
Notes
Soak dry fruits in alcohol to enhance the flavour. I recommend soaking for at least 48hrs but you may do so for days, weeks, or even up to 6 months. The more it soaks, the better it tastes.
Chop the fruits to be soaked into bite sized pieces. Use a clean air tight glass container to soak and store. Shake the jar or stir every alternate day as it helps to rehydrate the fruits and not dry out. Fill with extra rum as needed.
After draining the soaked dry fruits before baking the cake, coat them in a few spoons of flour. This helps the fruits to stick on to the batter while baking and prevents from setting down to the bottom.
Be cautious while preparing the caramel syrup, the melted sugar is very hot and will boil intensely when water is added. It can burn you if not carefully handled, also ensure to remove the pan from the flame when adding water.
After removing the baked cake from the pan, allow it sit on a wire rack to cool down at room temperature. Do not remove the parchment paper from the pan when the cake is hot, it might crumble.
Wrapping the cake in an aluminum foil helps it to retain moisture and prevent drying out.
You can keep the cake in an air tight container at room temperature for a week. Refrigerate thereafter.
If you want to make your cake boozy, you can brush the left over drained rum from the soaked fruits over the cake, once it is cooled from the oven. For those who prefer an aged/matured cake, you can bake it in advance and daily brush it with the remaining rum and wrap it back in the foil, until the day of serving / Christmas.
The adventure: I love a good stew. It’s somewhat of a craving for me. If I have a rough week, feel under the weather, need a little pick me up, I go for a good stew. This week, for whatever reason, I needed a good stew. Luckily, I found this one months ago and put it in the stash to try some day. Some day it is!
Pre-adventure Jitters: There’s a flavor profile about this stew that I find unsettling…parsley and pomegranate. I love pomegranate. SERIOUSLY love pomegranate. I like drinking it, eating it, cooking with it, everything. I’ve tried every method out there for getting the seeds out, including “spanking” the fruit. Mhm…no…doesn’t work so swell. That being said, I do not like parsley. I appreciate the need in certain things like potato salad, but mixed with pomegranate kinda makes my stomach turn in anticipation. But here we go. Armed with my recipe from “Flatbreads and Flavors” by Jeffrey Alford and Naomi Duguid, and a predisposition to say, “YUCK”, the adventure begins.
The Adventure: The shopping list is short. Most everything is already in my pantry and freezer. I’m left with pomegranate juice, spinach, parsley, and dried spearmint. Suhweet! I’m gonna fly through the store like a beast. The discount store doesn’t have pomegranate juice, but I didn’t really expect it, so I grab the spinach and parsley and head to the traditional store for the final two ingredients.
I know exactly where the pom juice is (because again, love love love pomegranate). I scamper on through to the spices annnddd no spearmint. Dammit. Waldo cannot be found locally. I have no choice but to buy online. I’m soooo disappointed that I couldn’t support local shops on this one. But it is what it is. I delay my cook until the following weekend when the spearmint is scheduled to arrive.
Now that I finally have my spearmint, I get started. The recipe says it takes just 20 minutes to prep, 20 minutes to cook. So I start about an hour before lunch time. It takes a solid 7 minutes to peel and shred the onion. I mush up my meat mixture and we’re at 15 minutes. Yeaahhhhh…20 minutes my ass. Haha! I start making mini meatballs. The directions say it makes 50 of them. Ahahahahahahaha! 20 minutes times what?! I make an executive decision…my lunch menu is now postponed to dinner.
I work through all the prep slloowwwly. I’m ready to go once dinner time arrives. The rice gets tossed in. 5 minutes later, I grab the plate of meatballs and start to dump them annndddd that little voice in my head sends up an alarm. I suddenly envision what could go wrong if a pound of meatballs hits boiling liquid at a high velocity. Mhm…I finally have a little voice BEFORE I make a whoops, not after. I grab the tongs and place the meatballs in one at a time. The rest is a piece of cake. About 10 minutes in, I lift the lid to stir and the steam rises. I inhale deeply, hoping to catch a waft of something yummy annnddd the smell is off putting. Wellll crap. That does not bode well.
So here we go. The soup is ladled into the bowl, mint sprinkled on top, slice of fresh bread on the side, and we give a taste. Maybe not even a taste, the amount of soup on my spoon can be measured in molecules at this point. I’m so flippin’ nervous.
Annndddd not a fan. It’s just not a flavor profile I’m fond of. A little too sweet, maybe…or a little too tangy? I don’t know, it’s a little too something. BUT, I’ve tried something new and the cooks are getting much much easier, which makes me smile. On to the next adventure!
The Recipe – Ash
Ingredients
For the meatballs:
1 pound lean ground beef
2 medium onions grated
scant 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground pepper
For the soup:
12 cups water
1-1/2 tsp salt
1 cup long grain rice, such as basmati or jasmine
1 cup spinach or chard leaves, well washed and shredded
1-1/2 cups flat leafed parsley, coarsely chopped
1 cup finely chopped scallions
2 cups fresh pomegranate juice or unsweetened cranberry juice
1 TBSP sugar
2 TBSP fresh lemon juice
For the garnish:
3 TBSP dried spearmint
1 tsp salt
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
2 to 3 limes, cut into wedges
Instructions
To make the meatballs: In a large mixing bowl, combine the meat, onions, cinnamon, salt, and pepper. Mix well with a spoon, then knead with your hands to produce an elastic mass of even consistency.
To form the meatballs: Scoop out heaping teaspoons of the meat mixture and roll them between your palms into firm round balls. Place the balls on a plate as you work. You should have 45 to 55 meatballs. (The recipe can be prepared ahead to this point and the meatballs stored, well wrapped, in the refrigerator for 24 hours or in the freezer for 1 week.)
To make the soup: Put the water in a large pot. Add the salt and bring to a boil. Toss in the rice and boil over medium heat for 5 minutes. Add the remaining soup ingredients and the meatballs, and bring back to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer gently, partially covered, for 15 minutes, or until the rice is tender but not mushy and the meatballs are cooked through. Remove from the heat.
Rub the mint to a powder between your palms, and combine with the slat and pepper in a small bowl.
Serve the soup in large bowls and sprinkle a generous teaspoon of the mint mixture over each bowlful. Place the remaining seasoning powder on the table if you wish. Serve with lime wedges, so that your guests can temper the soup’s sweetness with tart lime juice, and have stacks of fresh breads on hand.
The adventure: I had the privilege several years ago of visiting my artisans in Kyrgyzstan. Every time we sat down for tea, I was completely blown away by the bread…or at least I would have been had I not gained 15 pounds from having eaten said bread. They have a knack of adding simple cheese, veggies, and herbs to bread to elevate them from common place to “why yes, I’d love a fourth chunk” bread. When I found a used recipe book dedicated to nothing but breads from around the world, I felt like I hit the lottery…and possibly the need for bigger pants.
Pre-adventure Jitters: It’s bread. I’m getting more confident in my bread making skills, but I find bread intimidating. I know practice makes perfect, so here we go. Armed with my recipe from “Flatbreads and Flavors” by Jeffrey Alford and Naomi Duguid, and my fat pants, the adventure begins.
The Adventure: I love when the buy list is easy. All I need is goat cheese and Gruyere and I KNOW I can get both at The Cheese House, a local store dedicated to? Mhm…cheese!!! This is so easy it’s almost embarrassing.
I have a trick to breads. It’s summed up in two words…bread machine. I don’t do the mixing, kneading, letting it rise, kneading again thing. I stick it all in my bread machine on the dough setting and let it do the heavy lifting. It’s soooo much easier. Cheating, yes…but soooo much easier.
My bread machine won’t handle 6 cups of flour, so I half the bread portion of the recipe and get it going. Once it’s done, I cut it, press it into circles, and cover with the plastic wrap. I turn to the filling and read through things again…soft goat cheese. Awwww crap. I bought the only goat cheese they had, which was semi soft goat cheese with rosemary. It’s not going to be soft and spreadable. Soooo…I do the only thing I can. I grab the food processor and shred that goat cheese down to something workable. It still won’t spread like a paste, but I can spread out the crumble pretty evenly.
I decide to try the pull method for boat number one. It’s supposed to look like a long oval. Annndddd it doesn’t. It looks more like an amoeba on crack. Dammit. At this point, I’m not starting over, so I scatter the cheese filling on top, roll up the edges as best I can, stick it in the oven and watch as the cheese melts over the sides and makes a mess. Perfect. I took an incredibly simple recipe and made it hard. Seriously.
Attempt number two. I use the rolling pin on this one. Carefully roll it front and back only (no side to side) and I get my oval. Again, scatter the cheese filling, roll it up easy peasy, and put the bread onto my baking stone. In the oven it goes, and I count down the minutes to what I’m hoping is a flashback to Kyrgyzstan.
Bread comes out of the oven, and it looks PERFECT. I can’t wait for it to cool off. It smells amazing, so I rip off a corner and give it a try. Oh. My. God. I am soooo gonna need those fat pants. This is one of the best breads I’ve ever eaten. It’s exactly like the breads I ate in Kyrgyzstan. EXACTLY! The rosemary adds a touch of fun that literally dances on your tongue. My mind instantly starts thinking about what else I can add…maybe oregano next time or fried onion. The options are endless. This isn’t only a win, but one I’ll be making again and again. On to the next adventure!
The Recipe – Adjaruli Khachaphuri
Ingredients
For the bread:
2 cups warm water
pinch of sugar
2 tsp dry yeast
5 to 6 cups unbleached white flour or unbleached all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1 TBSP olive oil
For the filling:
6 oz soft young goat cheese, at room temperature
1 oz Gruyere, coarsely grated
1/4 cup plain yogurt
Instructions
Place the warm water in a large bowl, stir in the sugar and yeast, and let stand for several minutes, until the yeast has dissolved. Then gradually add 2-1/2 cups flour, stirring constantly in the same direction. Stir 100 times in the same direction, about 1 minute, to develop the gluten. Sprinkle on the salt, and the oil, and continue adding flour and blending it into the dough until it is less sticky.
Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and knead for 10 minutes, until smooth and elastic, with a slight sheen. form into a ball, and place in a lightly oiled clean bowl or on a lightly floured surface to rise, covered with plastic wrap, until doubled in volume, 1-1/2 to 2 hours.
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Lightly oil two baking sheets.
Gently push down the dough. On a lightly floured surface, using a sharp knife, cut the dough into 4 equal pieces. Flatten each piece out with the lightly floured palm of your hand, then cover with plastic wrap while you prepare the filling.
Place the cheese and yogurt in a bowl and blend together to a smooth consistency.
Work with one piece of dough at a time, leaving the remaining dough covered with plastic wrap. With your hands or a rolling pin stretch and flatten the dough into a long oval 8 to 10 inches long, 5 to 6 inches wide, and no more than 1/4 inch thick. Place a generous 1/4 cup filling in the center of the oval. Spread to within an inch of the edges. Roll the edges over to make a thick rim, pinching the sides together to form a point at the ends. (the bread should look boat-shaped.) Shape and fill a second bread. Slide the breads onto a peel and then onto the baking sheets and place on the bottom oven rack. Bake until the crust is golden and the bottom is firm and crusty, about 12 to 15 minutes. Wrap in a towel to keep warm while you prepare and bake the remaining two bread the same way. Serve hot.
The adventure: For those who weren’t aware, this past week was Dia de los Muertos…Day of the Dead. While the name may sound gruesome and creepy, it’s actually a fabulous day that’s dedicated to celebrating and remembering ancestors. While primarily celebrated in Mexico Day of the Dead is becoming more and more popular around the world.
Pre-adventure Jitters: They say you need a rotisserie to make these properly. In fact, the recipe writer actually suggests I buy a rotisserie for the occasion. Mhm…that’s not happening. Soooo I’m making this using their second suggestion, which in reading through, seems problematic. But I’m getting pretty good at winging it, so armed with my ability to bob and weave in the kitchen, and the recipe from Mexico in my Kitchen, the adventure begins.
The Adventure: Y’all know the routine at this point. Bent n dent, local butcher, bargain grocery, standard grocery. I know I can get the soft corn tortillas at the bent n dent. Last time I was there, they had, like, 50 to 60 packs of either flour or corn tortillas. I walk in the store and gasp in horror. Somebody somewhere had a fajita party, cause they were ALL GONE! I rummage through the nearby stacks of pastas and find one solitary pack tucked to the back. SCCOOORRREEE!!! I knock off the rest pretty quick…except for the achiote paste. Waldo is nowhere to be found. Soooo I google achiote paste and find a make it yourself hack. We made Waldo from scratch!
Okey dokey…this is another multi day recipe, so I start putting together the marinade to get my pork in the fridge. One of the ingredients on the list is white vinegar. Soooo to give you the visual, every time you see white vinegar in a recipe? It’s kept in my basement, so I have to trudge downstairs to get it. I have a dog. Those of you who also have these fun furry creatures know how hard it is to get a dog smell out of blankets. I’ve discovered a combination of white vinegar and borax in the laundry takes care of the smell easy peasy. Soooo…every load of laundry gets a dose of white vinegar. Annddd every time I need white vinegar, down the stairs I go.
I clean my peppers, soak them, stick everything in the blender and zip it up. The recipe says to pour the sauce through a fine sieve to get a homogenous texture. Ah hahahaha. They made a funny. That crap ain’t happening in my kitchen. Hahaha. Bring on the non-homogenous sauce.
I slice up my pork roast, thicker than they suggest…probably closer to an inch thick. Again, I don’t have a rotisserie. I’m cooking as a shish kebab under the broiler, and this chic isn’t trying to get a 1/3″ thick piece of pork onto a skewer. That’s how you end up in the emergency room with a skewer slice to the hand…rumor has it. (wink wink).
I slather my pork slices up in my lumpy sauce, trying so hard not to be repulsed by the slime factor, and place it in the fridge for an overnight soak. Then I fry up the fat chunks I cut off my pork roast and give my pup a treat. Mhm…she’s soooo spoiled. 🙂
Alrighty…it’s day two of my adventure! I open the fridge door and catch an insanely robust hot pepper and paprika smell. Hooboy…this doesn’t bode well. Heat up the oil in the fry pan and check out my pork steaks. The recipe says to scrape the extra marinade off…which as you may recall is quite lumpy. I try to scrape with my fork, then a spoon…no dice. That crap isn’t going anywhere. Soooo I pick up the first steak and use my fingers to basically squeeze off the marinade. Mhm…slime factor…don’t try this at home kids, it’s pretty gross.
Things suddenly just fall into place. As my second batch of steaks are frying, I cut the first 3 into cubes, stack them up with pineapple and onion onto the skewers, and throw them under the broiler…7 minutes on a side…turn twice. As it nears the 7 minute mark, I catch a waft of hot wood. Crap…I need to get those flipped quick! The only skewers I own have wooden handles…so…yeah. There’s a fine line between broiled meat and flaming skewers. Haha!
I finish frying the last batch of steaks and dump in the rest of the can of pineapple and the sliced onion into the empty pan. Now that all the meat is cooked, the frying pan is absolutely coated with ooey gooey guajilllo / paprika / pork bits. I want my cooked topping to caramelize in those bits. I know, it’s not exactly what the recipe says, but I’ve already veered away from the instructions, so why not embrace my creativity. Everything finishes together and I load up my tacos. It’s the moment of truth.
Shut the front door! Ahhhmmmaaazing! Seriously. The guajillo is more of a smoky flavor, not hot at all and the combination of the pork, the onion, the pineapple, and the salsa literally play music in my mouth. Based on the number of steaks I got out of my roast, I’d estimate this recipe serves a family of 10. Looking at how much I just plowed through? Mhm…I’m the equivalent of a family of 3. Lol! This recipe is definitely a keeper. It takes a substantial chunk of time, but it is oh so worth it. On to the next adventure!
The Recipe – Tacos al Pastor
Ingredients
For the marinade:
1 oz. guajillo peppers cleaned and seed removed About 4 peppers
1 oz. achiote paste
¼ cup pineapple juice you could use the juices from the sliced pineapple can
¼ cup white vinegar
3 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon Mexican oregano
½ teaspoon ground cumin
¼ teaspoon ground black pepper
2 cloves
1 ¼ teaspoon salt
For the tacos:
2 Lbs. pork butt Shoulder cut in ⅓ inch steaks
Salt and pepper to season the meat
1 medium size white onion cut in slices
1 can of pineapple rings
1 medium size bunch of cilantro washed and finely chopped
1 medium size onion finely chopped
12 Corn tortillas
A good spicy salsa of your choice
Instructions
Place the peppers in a saucepan and cover with water. Simmer over a medium heat for about 15 minutes or until they look soft. Let them cool and drain.
Place peppers, vinegar, pineapple juice with the spices and achiote paste in your blender. Process it until you have a very smooth sauce. Pour the sauce slowly through a fine sieve to get a nice homogenous texture. At this time, taste the sauce just to make sure the salt is enough for your taste.
Season the meat with salt and pepper. Place the sauce and steaks in a large bowl and marinate the meat or use a pastry brush and apply the sauce to each side of the steaks.
Marinate for at least 4 hours or overnight of hours (believe me it tastes way better), and then grill the steaks or fry in a skillet. Grilling some pineapple and onion slices along the meat to add to the tacos when serving. When cooking in a skillet, remove any excess adobo sauce since it will stick to the pan.
Now for the cooking process:
To cook in the Vertical Rotisserie stake the meat intercalating with some slices of onions and pineapple. Let any marinade drain for about 20 minutes before starting the timer. 1 Hr. is enough to cook 2 pounds. Shave the meat with a sharp knife and place it in an already warm skillet to give it that crisper taste as they do at the taquerias in Mexico.
The second option is using the broiler of your oven. Cut the meat as for Kabobs and insert into the skewer placing onion and pineapple slices between the meat. Since the meat is cut in smaller portions this method will take about 20 minutes to cook rotating at least 2 times while cooking.
Now, this is the easiest since almost anyone has a frying pan or skillet at home. Once your meat has marinated cut in small fine strips. Make sure to remove any excess adobo sauce. Warm the frying pan and add 1 – 2 Tablespoons of oil until hot enough that when you place the meat it sizzles. Add onion and pineapple slices along the meat to cook. Turning as needed to avoid the meat to stick to the pan. Cook for about 12 -15 minutes.
Slice the meat finely and make your tacos with warm tortillas. Top with chopped onion and cilantro, pineapple, and a salsa of your choice.
This week’s adventure: I know, I know. I’m 2 weeks late on my next adventure. It’s been a whirlwind of visitors, home projects, and unpacking boxes at the shop that threw me completely off my game in August…with pretty much everything. So we’re back at it with just a little skip and venturing off to Fiji. Number one thing that comes up when you search on “the Google” for Fijian recipe? Ceviche. Oy.
Pre-adventure jitters: Have I mentioned before that I DON’T LIKE FISH? Hmm? Pretty sure I have, but if not, let me be clear. I DON’T LIKE FISH. I’m learning it’s that I don’t like fish that’s not fresh…and most “oily” fishes..annnddd any fish that still tastes like fish once it’s cooked, but I’m trying to put on my big girl panties and try new things. But seriously, I really don’t like fish…in case I wasn’t clear the first two times. Add to that the fact that ceviche isn’t actually cooked to kill off bacteria. It’s cured in acid. Go do a search on what can happen if your fish isn’t fresh, cured fully, or you pick the wrong kind. Actually no, don’t do that. Having just done that, I can tell you, it’s a BAD idea. Very bad. But I set rules when I started these adventures to prevent me from picking and choosing only the easy and uneventful recipes. Soooo armed with a recipe from Arousing Appetites and a day where I can stay close to the toilet (just in case things don’t, um, sit well), the adventure begins.
The adventure: Alrighty. The ingredient list isn’t too scary. I find most of the fresh produce at the local Amish produce stand. Swing by the local Amish bent n dent and hit the jackpot! I found the coconut milk for fifty cents! Granted the can looks like something ran over it, but it’s not broken open at all, so we snatched that bad boy up. The lemons, limes, and cilantro come from a standard grocery store, which leaves the fish. (sigh) So Mahi Mahi isn’t a standard run of the mill fish around here, but we do have a fish market 30 minutes north that should have it. It’s where I bought the shark a few months ago, and that was actually delicious, so I’m hoping they have it.
I really like the fish market. It’s small, but they have the weird stuff that I like…monkfish, swordfish, etc without completely breaking the bank. Annnddd it’s one of the few places where I’ve found shrimp so incredibly fresh, they’re still blue in color. The problem is, getting there when they’re open is a bit tricky. I can only get there Thursday or Friday after work…I close at 5, they close at 6…it’s a 30 minute drive. Sooo it’s a tight timeline, but possible if things go just right. Annddd they did. I called and had them pull my mahi first thing in the morning, so it was an easy drive up, purchase, and I was back home by 6:30.
So the recipe says 2 hours. I googled mahi mahi ceviche and I found everything from 30 minutes to 5 hours as a cure time. Ahhhh great…clear as mud. This isn’t exactly something I want to wing it on. According to the directions I’ve read on a ridiculous number of recipes at this point, cure it too little…potential vomiting…cure it too long…curdling and potential vomiting. (sigh) Perrrrfect. Annndddd then I see the word that literally makes my intestinal track seize up. Parasites. Dammit. What the hell have I gotten myself into??!!?
I go back to google and type in “ceviche what fish has parasites”. Seriously? Why am I doing ANYTHING where I have to google the word parasite???? This is just wrong on every level. Found a list…mahi mahi has no potential for parasites. Ohhhh…thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m nervous enough about bacteria, curdling, and vomiting, I really don’t need to add a parasitic infestation to the mix.
So I unpack my mahi, take one look, and my heart sinks. The skin is still on. (sigh) As much as I don’t like fish, I like the prospect of skinning fish even less. I can count on NO hands the number of times I’ve skinned a fish. I grill is skin on, bake it skin on, fry it skin on, because the skin comes off SUPER easy that way. Soooo I now have to google how to skin mahi. Seriously. I’m researching this “easy recipe” more than I did my college term papers.
The advice I find? Hold it with something like a paper towel so it doesn’t get away from you and simply pull the skin off. Okay, so really. I don’t think you should ever refer to dinner as something that you have to hold firmly to prevent it from getting away from you. That’s a visual I truly didn’t need. Annnddd I’m here to tell you. IT DOESN”T JUST PULL OFF.
Anyway, I finally get the skin off and move on to the cutting. The recipe says to use a simple knife. Annddd that doesn’t work. It doesn’t cut through the entire filet. I move up to a serrated blade annddd that shreds the fish. Oh for pete’s sake. So, I move on to my kitchen scissors and slowly, one cut at a time, chop my filets into little cubes. I toss it in a dish and start juicing the lemons and limes. It takes a TON of lemons and limes. We’re talking a ton. But I’m making sure every whisper of fish is under juice. I’m taking NO chances that anything doesn’t get cured. I put the cover on, set it in the fridge and walk away.
I opted to wait 4 hours before putting my ceviche together. I know there’s a risk of curdling, but I’d rather risk curdling versus insufficient curing. i chop up all my veggies, open my very dented can of coconut milk, and stir in the drained mahi. I’m ready to dig in.
Okay, so not really ready. My stomach is already flipping at the prospect of getting sick. But I grab a chip, dip it in, and tentatively take the first bite. IT’S AMAZING!!!! The citrus, the coconut, the assortment of veggies all come together beautifully. It’s seriously one of the best meals I’ve had through my adventures! This is a definite win. Well, it is assuming I don’t get sick. Haha!
The recipe: Kokoda – coconut milk ceviche
Ingredients:
1 lb fresh Mahi Mahi fillet, cubed
4 limes, juiced
2 lemons, juiced (1 cup of citrus juice, or enough to submerge)
1 cup coconut milk
2 medium-sized shallots, finely diced
1 medium sized green bell peppers, finely diced
1 Persian cucumbers, finely diced (4 canning cucumbers)
2 long red chilis, finely diced
2 tablespoons cilantro, finely diced
2 Roma tomatoes, finely diced (one German pink heirloom)
Directions:
Cube Mahi Mahi in 1/2″ pieces.
Place your cubed Mahi Mahi in a large mixing bowl, then pour the mixed citrus juice over top until the fish is submerged
Cover the bowl with plastic wrap, then place into the fridge for at least 2 hours
After at least 2 hours (or more), the fish filet should be opaque and ready to go. Drain the excess liquid.
Pour the coconut milk over the bowl
Add your chopped shallots, red onion, green bell pepper, cucumber, chilis, tomatoes and parsley and mix everything well
Serve your kokoda cold either in small bowls or in lettuce cups. Enjoy!
Silk Road Scuttlebutt 